Sidewalk Confession

I tried to say something but the words hid away in my quickly dying throat.

Will you please stop looking at me like that. You’ll make me cry. Don’t worry, I know you have her. I don’t expect anything from you. The least you can do is hold me. You know how hard it has been for me lately.

We crossed over to the other side and couldn’t help but pull her close to kiss her trembling lips, the smell of the rain clinging to her hair, intensifying my desire for her. How soft and warm she was. My thin pullover denounced her hardened nipples, pressing on my eager chest. How long it had been since I’d been that close to another human being.

I want you. From the bottom of my heart. I never want to loose you, but there’s nothing I can do right now. I can’t decide now.

Because of her ? I nodded a yes. You still sleep with her ? I told her, now and then. Doesn’t she love you ? I said it was complicated, confusing. That I had lost track of us and that she had too. That I owed her much and had to be responsible. Even if she didn’t love me, as before.

Let me tell you this; she snuggled her face against my neck; I’m for real, real blood flows in these veins, you’re holding me and I’m telling you that I love you and that I’d do anything for you. I’m a bit crazy at times, I know, but I’m a decent, honest, hardworking girl. I’m rather nice looking, I’ve got great tits, my cooking is alright. I’m quite ok, don’t you think ? What if I end up with someone else ?

I’m so sorry. I know I can’t hold you back. It’s all I can say. I need time.

But you do love me ?

Yes very much. You know that.

She stepped away, a big childish smile lighting her face, filling my aching heart. Ok. I’ll wait. Only, don’t hurt me. I’ve been hurt enough. I want to be happy now. I grabbed her near and kissed her passionately.

For heaven’s sake, let go of the umbrella, hold me with both arms !

But we’ll be soaked !

Who cares ! Just hold me ! Stop thinking !

The umbrella’s fall was cushioned by the noise of tyres whooshing past, ripping gathering puddles, involving our embrace in the midst of the heavy rain, turning it into gentle haze. That day, the rain pressed on, rolling down or cheeks, joyful tears making its way to my belly, sneaking in between her breasts.

We’d better seek shelter.

Yes ! She laughed.
Come, let’s go to my place. I’ve got the place to myself today. I don’t want you catching a cold !! She laughed again.

Slippery hands holding tightly and with a childish face long forgotten, we dashed down Main Street.