Sidewalk Confession

I tried to say something, but the words hid away in my quickly dying throat.

"Will you please stop looking at me like that!

You’ll make me cry.
Don’t worry...I know you have her... I don’t expect anything from you.
The least you can do is hold me.

You know how hard it has been for me lately!"


We crossed over to the other side and couldn’t help but pull her close
to kiss her trembling lips, the smell of the rain clinging to her hair,
intensifying my desire for her.
How soft and warm she was, my thin pullover denounced her hardened nipples,

pressing on my chest, enabling me from trying to conceal my eagerness for her.


"I want you!

From the bottom of my heart.

Believe me, I don't want to loose you.
But there’s nothing I can do right now.

I can’t decide now..."

"Because of her ?"- I nodded a yes.

"You still sleep with her ?"- I told her -"...now and then".

"Does she love you?"- I said it was complicated, confusing.
That I had lost track of us and that she had too.
That I owed her much and had to be responsible.
Even if she didn’t love me, as before.

"Let me tell you this"- she snuggled her face against my neck,
"I’m for real, real blood flows in these veins!
You’re holding me and I’m telling you that I love you!
I’m a bit crazy at times, I know...
But, I’m a decent, honest, hardworking girl.
I’m rather nice looking, I’ve got great tits!
And my cooking is alright.
I’m quite ok, don’t you think ?
What if I end up with someone else ?"

"I’m so sorry. I know. I can’t hold you back."- my voice sounded cloudy
It’s all I can say. I need time."

"But you do love me?"- her eyes pierced deeper into mine.

"Yes! Very much.You know that..."


She stepped away, a big childish smile lighting her face, filling my aching heart.


"Ok. I’ll wait.
Only...don’t hurt me.
I’ve been hurt enough.
I want to be happy now!"
 

I grabbed her near and kissed her passionately.
 

"For heaven’s sake man, let go of the umbrella, hold me with both arms !"

"But we’ll be soaked!"- I justified.

"Who cares! Just hold me! Stop thinking! Stop it!"

The umbrella’s fall was cushioned by the noise of tyres whooshing past,
ripping puddles, involving our embrace in the midst of the heavy summer rain,
turning it into gentle haze.
That day, the rain pressed on,
rolling down or cheeks,
her tears making their way to her belly,
sneaking in between her breasts.


"We’d better seek shelter!"- I picked up the umbrella.

"Yes!"- She laughed.
"Come, let’s go to my place.
I don’t want you catching a cold !!"- She laughed again.


With slippery hands holding tightly and childish faces long forgotten,
I put my arm around her as we made our way down the ancient cobbled road.